I woke up this morning and headed to the laundry room. I'm behind (again) and try to catch up every chance I get. I hadn't been folding long and here comes Bo.
This is the first conversation of my day.
BO: "Mommy are you strong?"
ME: "Idon't know, are you?"
BO: "Daddy said I have to be strong for Grandpa."
ME: "Do you miss him?"
BO: "No. I just want to see him at heaven when it's my turn. (He paused for a minute) You are strong Mommy, will you carry me to heaven?"
He was very matter of fact and still half asleep and it was over just like that. I didn't even answer, I didn't know how. I'm sure my automatic answer is yes, but can I back that up? I've decided I can't let things like this get the best of me or I'll break down and cry. I try not to put to much thought into it but seriously even if they are only four, what do you tell a child when they ask you if you will carry them to heaven?
I will try to just be STRONG. It is hard.
November 11, 2008
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4 comments:
In my own experience, this is what is the hardest of all - Me watching my kids suffer the loss. My heart is with you
How sweet is that! I am hear for you if you need anything. Love you
If you aren't going to cry I'll do it for you.....if you only knew (Tracy, you do) how many similar conversations I've had. Just yesterday...as I'm sitting on the computer...I hear Payton and Carter having a conversation on the sofa about Grandma Jeanie. Both saying how much they miss her...when Dalton, being Dalton butts in and tells Payton he never knew her and that Carter was only a baby so how does he think he remembers her??? What to do?! Me, being me, says...well Dalton, Payton probably knew Grandma in heaven and she is the one who sent him to us...then the inevitable happens...I cry.
It's hard Jayme, the sting of the loss never goes away. You just learn to cope with it better as time goes on.
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